Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
my poor anus
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
