I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
