maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
