Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Randomize