Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize
