I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
