Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
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