This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
