Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
we're making bets on your personal life
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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