: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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