I feel like I'm in dance class right now
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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