I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
