ya dads aren't the best wingmen
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
