Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
