I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Randomize
