How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Randomize
