When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
