ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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