i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
