All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Randomize
