why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
