I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
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