Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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