OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
