real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
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