It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize
