his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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