I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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