I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
