so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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