I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
