Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Randomize
