oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
