She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize