I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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