well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I want to fling myself into the sun
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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