But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
