What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
