Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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