Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
