I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Randomize
