Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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