Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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