you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Randomize
