You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
North Korea, Best Korea!
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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