News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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