Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
worst night to have a conscience
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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