I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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