Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
