I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
