wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize
