The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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