Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
