You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
