Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Walk of Shame today included voting.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize