I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I just had sex on a roof
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
