Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
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