it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
