they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
