i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
