he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
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