I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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