so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I need to sanitize my soul.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize