am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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