I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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