how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Randomize
