We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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