So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize