u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
