Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
