Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
