you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
