loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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