I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
