First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
