I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
