I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Randomize
