just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
