TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
